Fun with Pop Culture: Hello, Goodbye (Part Two)

For Part One, click here.

Still more interesting than health care reform.

If Rolling Stone could devote a cover story to analyzing the Beatles' breakup almost 40 years after the fact, I think we can break down Ray Allen's departure from the "C"-tles one more time, four weeks after the fact.

So:  Why is Walter Ray Allen a member of the Miami Heat?

Let's take a look at the various explanations we've heard over the past month -- With a Little Help From Our Friends.

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I Wanna Be Your Man:  In speaking with the Boston Herald, Doc Rivers insinuated that Ray may have been turned off by how Danny & co. aimed to lock in KG for next season before shifting sights to their veteran sharpshooter.  “Kevin Garnett was our focal point, and he should have been," Doc said.  "If that got anyone ruffled, then that's probably too bad."

If being "ruffled" here played a significant role in Ray's decision, we'd all be justified in making our biggest, baddest bitter lemon faces -- but I seriously doubt that Ray was sufficiently out touch with reality to be offended by taking a back seat to Kevin.  Considering Doc finished his thoughts on the matter with an immediate disclaimer ("I really don't know"), I chalked this up to the emotion-fueled, off-the-cuff ramblings of a guy who'd been spurned by his golf buddy.

No. 5 was no. 1, and Ray knew it.

On a similar note, however...

Can't Buy Me Love:  Why else would Ray sign with Miami for $3 million less than he could have netted in Boston?  Because he wasn't happy with the way he'd been dangled as trade bait in recent years.  He did, in fact, feel unloved by the organization's higher ups -- but for much more substantive reasons than their hard pursuit to extend KG's career.  He felt especially betrayed when almost shipped to Memphis at this year's deadline, and no dollar amount the Celts' suits presented to him could change that feeling.

After all, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make, right?

This explanation, while theoretically sound, was debunked as the driving force behind Ray's departure by the revelation that Ray may have returned to Boston for an even richer contract ($27 million over 3 years) than was offered ($12 million over 2), as confirmed by Wyc Grousbeck.  The lack of "love" Ray felt from the Celts may have helped push him out the door, but it was not, apparently, irreconcilable.  At a certain point, the money piles would have been too big to ignore.

"Time out -- you want how much?"

*Reflexive reaction time!*

Money (That's What I Want):  Ray, you greedy son of a --

-- Let's not go there.  Yes, Ray asked for more money to consider staying in Boston, but that kind of request is in the nature of negotiating.  This is the same Ray who took a hometown discount from us in 2010, and, again: he ultimately accepted $3 million less to go to Miami.  So this isn't the answer either.

I'm Looking Through You:  The soap opera-worthy explanation for Ray leaving, of course, is that his rocky relationship with Rondo was to blame.  As described by Adrian Wojnarowski at Yahoo! Sports, a Ray-Rondo "cold war" developed this past season, complete with two-way "behind-the-back sniping to teammates."  While the pair played together as well as ever on the floor, unnamed sources reveal that Ray "mostly ignored" his team's cocky floor general off of it and that Doc's attempts to bridge the growing gap between the former locker mates were unsuccessful.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words...

Not convinced?  Watch this.

At Ray's introductory press conference in Miami, CSN's A. Sherrod Blakely asked if friction with Rondo played a part in his decision and whether he'd spoken with Rondo since making it.  Ray quickly answered that he hadn't spoken with Rondo "at all" and proceeded to devote a full minute-plus to describing how he had spoken with KG and Paul, waxing poetic about their five-year journey together.  Only when asked a follow-up question forcing the issue did Ray:

1. Grimace slightly;
2. Offer the obligatory denial ("I can't say that it factored into my decision") that would grab the next day's easy headlines; and
3. Ramble a few lines about teammates being "brothers" and all brothers having differences -- highlighted by this gem: "Paul eats corn flakes.  I might not like the corn flakes!"

Being brothers can be tough -- especially at breakfast.

For those watching closely who assumed the Ray-Rondo story line was being emphasized because it is just that -- a great story line -- this sequence may have raised an eyebrow.  It certainly did for me, as I now have a hard time believing that Ray's feelings towards Rondo were inconsequential.

Consider that, on the B.S. Report in February, when Larry Legend (regrettably) picked Kobe Bryant as the current NBA player he'd most like to play with "to win and win and win," he also noted that "If you want to have fun, like I did with Bill Walton, it's LeBron."  It makes sense, then, that Ray would gravitate towards the team led by the prototypical "fun" guy if he wasn't, in fact, having much fun on a team led by Rondo.

Also:  The "fun" guy has obviously made some strides in the "win and win and win" department, which brings us to...

Like Lays, one is never enough.

It Won't Be Long:  Like Gary Payton and Karl Malone before him, Steve Nash alongside him, and another famous Ray in Boston sports lore, Mr. Allen was undoubtedly thinking of one last crack at a ring in debating where to play the final years of his career.  Regardless of how good you think the Celtics can be next season (very good, IMO), the Heat were and are the odds-on title favorites.

Act Naturally:  What's more natural for a prideful, future Hall-of-Famer than wanting to play meaningful minutes -- to fill an important role on a team?

Fact:  With Rajon Rondo, Avery Bradley, and Jason Terry all (eventually) in the guard rotation next season, Ray would have been more of a luxury than necessity for the Celtics, and Doc would have struggled to find him consistent minutes.  Rondo and Avery's quickness and defensive prowess as a starting pair have been well-chronicled, and Jason is a better shot-creator off the bench.

The JET's landing in Boston made Ray's role unclear.

Fact:  In Miami, where Ray's defensive shortcomings can be masked by taking the easiest perimeter assignments (thanks to Wade and LeBron) and his biggest asset (you know) can be maximized by feasting off kick-out passes from the MVP, he will be a much better fit.

And finally...

I'll Follow the Sun:  Because it wouldn't be a move from Boston to Florida without some consideration of the weather.

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In a full-page ad in the Boston Globe, Ray Allen addressed Boston fans directly for the first and only time since putting our city in his rear view mirror, Will Hunting-style:

For the past five years, my family and I took great pride in calling Boston home.  We have loved living in this city, being members of the Celtics family and being part of your community.  These memories will be cherished forever. 

From my heart, THANK YOU Boston for this incredible journey. 

While it's nice to know that Ray is ALL-CAPS THANKFUL for his time in Boston, many Celtics fans have been more than hesitant to offer such warm, Dido-esque sentiments in return.

Ringo wishes us nothing but peace and love.

My personal feelings towards Ray are shaped by the fact that I think you can summarize all the various factors motivating his decision as follows...

I Me Mine:  ...But don't get me wrong; I'm not calling Ray "selfish."

"Selfish" was Kobe in the years after Shaq left L.A., gunning offensively for big stats to prove his individual worth before childishly demanding a trade (just like Ray predicted his old arch-nemesis would); Ray was nothing short of the personification of "ubuntu" in Celtics green, right down to accepting that sixth man role he never particularly relished.

"Me?  Like him?  No way."

"Ubuntu," however -- unselfishness within the team concept -- doesn't apply to free agency.  And if "I Me Mine" captures Ray Allen's mindset in having chosen the Miami Heat, it does so simply in that he placed his personal desires above those of his most recent employer.

Ray did what he felt was best for him personally -- and that wasn't to sign on the dotted line with owners and a GM by whom he felt disrespected, accept being an increasingly smaller cog in the Celtics machine, and continue to grit his teeth with Rondo.  We fans hoped he might because we believe in Celtics exceptionalism -- the kind of Celtic Pride that insists there is no greater honor than donning the green and white.  We hoped he'd be "loyal" -- despite the fact that the franchise showed little loyalty to him.  We bought into those melodramatic "I am a Celtic" ads in which Ray's picture flashed behind the words "I am not South Beach."  We defined Ray, first and foremost, as a Celtic.

It turns out, however, that Ray defines himself as a professional basketball player, and a Dad, and he'd be happier playing for the defending champs.

And at the end of the day, I can't fault him for that.

Ray's real priority.

While I'm still not thrilled about Ray lining up on enemy lines on Opening Night, I'm personally not comfortable with all the "traitor" talk.  Ray didn't coldly turn his back on Boston for a paycheck -- and he's not an Idiot -- so I don't feel compelled to call him "Judas Shuttlesworth."  I really think Celtics Nation needs to...

Let It Be:  Like Bob Ryan, I'll be disappointed if Ray doesn't receive a rousing ovation when he returns to the Garden on Jan. 27; I think he deserves nothing less.

Can we boo him thereafter?  Sure; he's an opposing player on a rival team.  But I don't think he's a villain, and I don't think he deserves the jeers-whenever-he-touches-the-ball treatment.  From where I sit, he's no different than James Posey, Tony Allen, or Big Baby -- except that Ray played a bigger role in Banner 18 than any of them.

He was, after all, a "C"-tle.

(And, if all else fails: Courtney Lee's a baller.  All's well that ends well...)

Mother Mary has some advice for Celtic Nation.